These days it’s easy to select the non-binary (or any gender diverse) option on a dating app without really thinking about what it’s like to date someone who isn’t cisgender. Sure, you’re a person hanging out with another person – how different could it be?

Well, you would be surprised by some of the distinctions. If you’re straight and cis (let alone white and non-disabled), you may never have thought much about how you and your partners move through the world. How you perceive yourself and each other, plus how everyone else views you together.

Suddenly jumping into the world of non-binary dating will probably mean more self-awareness, communication, and challenges than you’re used to in your relationships. The good news is that all of this is very rewarding and will benefit your current and future relationships and friendships.

So, here are some important ways to reflect on your behaviour, plus conversations you can initiate when you give non-binary dating a try. Most of this advice applies to dating any gender-diverse person, be they trans+, genderfluid, bigender, agender, or genderqueer (like me). I’ve also asked some of my non-binary friends for their perspectives on this topic. I hope these suggestions and insights are helpful for your future dating adventures.

What not to ask on your first date

There’s one question you may think is an obvious way to show interest and gain insight on a first date with an enby (i.e. Weiterlesen